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dreaming real.

by nadir bliss

/
1.
feel it coming up & down can't see a source of movement shadows forming all around seem prove the way that you knew it so hurry up cause there's still time if you make haste & beg your eyes to see it through everything looks different now when you've been away for a while thinking of my brothers cause it meant a lot to see them growing up in their own ways trying not to waste a life that's worth the living
2.
want you to notice me when we're hanging out in the kitchen been at work all day how i've missed you it's 7 or 8 o'clock maybe 9 o'clock it doesn't mean that much forever can take a bit & when it eats itself it doesn't end just can't find the words enjoying silence i see you scratch your face 'cause it helps your anxiety it's 7 or 8 o'clock maybe 9 o'clock it doesn't mean that much forever can take a bit & when it eats itself it doesn't end it's 11:08 right now you've been passed out for an hour can't ever seem to find time anyway i love you anyway bae we drain our lives away i know that it's late at night & you're feeling very tired been at work all day how i've missed you the days are trailing out forever can take a bit & when it eats itself it doesn't end can't ever seem to find time anyway i love you anyway bae we drain our lives away
3.
ask yourself 02:55
if you never choose what's good for you it won't be so nice thinking about all the stuff that you never got around to but it's a part of you whether you like it or not but it doesn't matter anymore 'cause you're all alone now when you feel it again just take a deep breathe try not to think too much it's okay when your heart skips a beat you're just slowing down more aware of yourself it could be so nice to feel so quiet it could be so nice to feel so quiet ask yourself in the shower where your doubts are empowered do you wanna be happy? is your life coming back? should be kissing the ground he's the luckiest person doesn't wanna be happy & he's not coming back & it doesn't matter anymore but you're all alone now when you feel it again
4.
can't forget the way back home don't roll away the stone don't blow away you're almost home can't forget the way it felt being home don't roll away the stone don't blow away you're almost home
5.
always thought i'd be safe until i could say what i was thinking now there's never enough time to know what i'll be thinking about & it's sudden death is there really nothing left? the more i see, the less i know seems like i'm a different person somewhere far away with no purpose missing my cat i bet he misses me too speaking of the absence i guess I always thought i'd be safe until i could say what i was thinking now there's never enough time to know what i'll be thinking about it's sporadic again is there really more than this? there's always a person in the mirror depression on a slope with nowhere else to go dependence on the fritz to what does not make sense stuck inside this box of what excites the mission all this pessimism is getting pretty old you're not the only one who's a product of the sun i guess you are what you eat but what if you don't have an appetite when all you can do is work to survive there isn't time for stupid shit like.. i always thought i'd be safe until i could say what i was thinking now there's never enough time to know what i'll be thinking about i always thought i'd be safe until i could say what i was thinking now there's never enough time to know what i'll be thinking about & you said it again
6.
with a ghost 02:56
how do you get back on track when everything starts going wrong why did you say that stuff you know you can take it back is a memory stronger than the moment that we have i can't wait any longer to remember who i am please don't bother me go find some company with a ghost stay away from me picking out the dirt from my fingernails a temporary lobotomy razors rusting by the sink how long has it been? please don't bother me go find some company with a ghost stay away from me i'm picking out the dirt from my fingernails a temporary lobotomy razors rusting by the sink how long has it been?
7.
subliminal mistake for something else how many times does it take something brighter than it's supposed to be no exit spaces that don't ask you to exist how many times does it take how many times does it take for you to face it off against the wall barely a sound is made everyday when you're awake you're still in a dream
8.
holding on 03:30
holding on to wander off you don't have a favorite color what's one without the other holding on to wander off every time i walk outside i'm reminded of everything & nothing
9.
& then some 04:30
10.
this heaven 04:00
turned 28 tuesday idk if it feels good why can't i just lie & let myself enjoy something everyone's waiting as you go around in circles you have no patience to find where to start there's something tangled up in this web 'step into my parlor' said the spider to the fly take your time don't be late fall asleep stay awake found out what to say by that time we're all gone you know that things would change didn't want it to end up this way i just can't afford to ask for more try to remember all your sweat & blood what is this heaven of hell i've made take your time don't be late fall asleep stay awake patterns in longform turning in selfless dreams i asked a question that you just forgot to answer 'cause i don't have one i cut a need for days then worship strangers fucked up my arm there's something tangled up in this web step into my parlor said the spider to the fly what is this heaven of hell i've made what is this heaven of hell i've made take your time don't be late fall asleep stay awake for me please
11.
lost your face in the rain took a swim in a wishing well that face was erased you won't find your mom again apart of all things that you know apart of all things that you know apart of all things that you know apart of all things & you know let it all out let it your voice ring out let it all out let it your heart sing out what you're after hasn't gone away it's right there in front of you see your face it's so nice to see you again i've been waiting so long i can hear you walking up the stairs i feel you i know that you're there

about

physical release available through chord organ tapes
chordorgantapes.bandcamp.com/album/dreaming-real
SOLD OUT

songs made by Sean O'Hara

recorded spring 2021 - winter 2022
all songs recorded directly to tape on an 8 track
except 'ghost' which was recorded on a single track reel to reel

songs transferred from tape to digital with a MOTU 828
mixed during fall/winter 2021 with logic pro 7 on an old laptop
mastered online for free using bandlab

credits

released July 20, 2022

all instruments played by Sean O'Hara
Olivia De Salvo sings lead vocals on 'ask yourself'
Olivia also plays melodica on 'ghost'
drum samples from youtube. thanks Jim Dooley

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nadir bliss New York, New York

music by Sean O'Hara

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