pretend to believe

by nadir bliss



recorded to tape on a modded tascam 488
july-september 2k16 in oxford, ms, @ my old house


released August 12, 2017

graham neeld - drums on all trax except 'sometimes the light..'
sam - bass on 'why not?'
adam ruhl - tape recordings of ppl talking
sean - everything else



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nadir bliss Oxford, Mississippi

sean o'hara

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Track Name: frend
I'll ask you how you've been
you used to be my friend
that was so long ago
i guess we both know i still wear your jacket all the time
maybe i'll fall in love with the idea when we were kids
when we had nothing to lose but we sure had our ideas
i'll sing a song all night of how i feel inside
about an old friend from way back home
that i don't have the guts to talk to on the phone
Track Name: love me alone
put me down
afraid of the monkey that's deep within
turn around for a while but you're close to him
pick him up and take him back to the zoo to be torn apart by the rest of the monkeys there
they don't leave me alone
stick around for a while just to see it end
call me back
i know you won't hear it ring again
you're not around but im making eye contact with your ghost
nothing is sacred anymore
feeding off the day
feeling okay
im wide awake
im okay
ill write today
im not away
lately now my minds out of reach for now
then again back and forth im into it again
fading out between two sheets
im numb alot
making eye contact with a ghost that's smiling
leave me alone
Track Name: radiation
every time i talk to you it feels like im not
we'll see if i can follow through with something for once
im running out of oxygen in this house so im sleeping on the roof with you until i wake up from too much radiation

go ahead and break the news
see why i dont
its funny how the weight begins to crush our arms as we're thinking of other things that never seem to do justice to the worst of it
then i cave in from too much radiation
Track Name: nervous wreck
i could never try to chase your mind
never say no to your instincts
never love your love
it's in the fire now
that's where it goes when it's disarrayed into nothing
though it seems like im not here i haven't felt this good in quite some time and i thought you wanted a nervous wreck
nothing ever mattered except the hell in general retrospect
can't you see the dotted line where my heart's supposed to tear
Track Name: ready to fall
I think im ready to fall into your arms and it'll be okay
i think im ready to fall into your arms where everything is alright
but where have you gone
now im falling through the gb
later on im falling through the tv set
hit a wall and im having thoughts of having thoughts

i might not be as dumb as when i first saw you
i think about that time often and im not embarrassed to say
im different in every way cuz it's nice to know you
Track Name: why not?
the laziest part of me says that i don't want it bad enough
but i need it
im not seeking validation but it seems like this silence isn't enough
i wanted you to stay
so why not
Track Name: sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a train
sometimes it's better just to fade out
i dont think there's a light at the end of the tunnel
at times it's better just to lay down
other times the light at the end of the tunnel is a train
Track Name: night breed pt 2
lost your sand
the night's at it again
it's out the window and down the stairs
and your stare is waiting to fall away
and it falls away from the pack on the sink
they're in time, they're your time when you are not
maybe i want something more than soon enough we'll all just be honest with each other
maybe there's time in these walls