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pretend to believe

by nadir bliss

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1.
2.
frend 04:14
i'll ask you how you've been you used to be my friend that was so long ago i guess we both know i still wear your jacket all the time maybe i'll fall in love with the idea when we were kids when we had nothing to lose but we sure had our ideas i'll sing a song all night of how i feel inside about an old friend from way back home that i don't have the guts to talk to on the phone every time i die i listen over you and im made new
3.
put me down afraid of the monkey that's deep within turn around for a while but you're close to him pick him up and take him back to the zoo to be torn apart by the rest of the monkeys there they don't leave me alone stick around for a while just to see it end call me back i know you won't hear it ring again you're not around but im making eye contact with your ghost nothing is sacred anymore feeding off the day feeling okay im wide awake im okay ill write today im not away lately now my minds out of reach for now then again back and forth im into it again fading out between two sheets im numb alot making eye contact with a ghost that's smiling leave me alone
4.
radiation 02:15
every time i talk to you it feels like im not we'll see if i can follow through with something for once im running out of oxygen in this house so im sleeping on the roof with you until i wake up from too much radiation go ahead and break the news see why i dont its funny how the weight begins to crush our arms as we're thinking of other things that never seem to do justice to the worst of it then i cave in from too much radiation
5.
waiting... 02:22
6.
i could never try to chase your mind never say no to your instincts never love your love it's in the fire now that's where it goes when it's disarrayed into nothing though it seems like im not here i haven't felt this good in quite some time and i thought you wanted a nervous wreck nothing ever mattered except the hell in general retrospect can't you see the dotted line where my heart's supposed to tear
7.
I think im ready to fall into your arms and it'll be okay i think im ready to fall into your arms where everything is alright but where have you gone now im falling through the gb later on im falling through the tv set hit a wall and im having thoughts of having thoughts i might not be as dumb as when i first saw you i think about that time often and im not embarrassed to say im different in every way cuz it's nice to know you
8.
why not? 04:00
the laziest part of me says that i don't want it bad enough but i need it im not seeking validation but it seems like this silence isn't enough i wanted you to stay so why not
9.
sometimes it's better just to fade out i dont think there's a light at the end of the tunnel at times it's better just to lay down other times the light at the end of the tunnel is a train
10.
lost your sand the night's at it again it's out the window and down the stairs and your stare is waiting to fall away and it falls away from the pack on the sink they're in time, they're your time when you are not maybe i want something more than soon enough we'll all just be honest with each other maybe there's time in these walls
11.

about

recorded to tape on a tascam 488
july-september 2k16 in oxford, ms, @ my old house

credits

released August 12, 2017

graham - drums except on 'sometimes the light..'
sam - bass on 'why not?'
adam - field recordings
sean - <3

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nadir bliss New York, New York

music by Sean O'Hara

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